


Successful Idiot

by Niko_Net



Category: SpongeBob SquarePants (Cartoon)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-07-14 17:01:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16044758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niko_Net/pseuds/Niko_Net
Summary: Rewritten, based off the 'Whatever happened to Spongebob' episode, an alternative.. what if they couldnt find him? What if he didnt become mayor, and became something else? When would the day come for him to finally remember who he was, and would he want to remember?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a rewrite, of a rewrite, that one episode, Who bob what pants. I rewrote some of it a while back, because it needed fixing, and now, I re-read it, and it needs to, actually, be re-written. Thanks guys, for who ever read it the first couple times, but it’s time that it was updated, again.

Spongebob groaned as he sat up, rubbing his head, he cocked his brow before he took his hand down to find it coated in blood, his head was blank, any information he’d once had was gone, he didn't remember how he got here, or why he was here, he didn't even know where he was, all he knew was that his head hurt, really bad, he looked up at the tall cliff, the only explanation for this injury was that, he must’ve fallen off that cliff, and hit his head a couple times too many.

Spongebob turned his head toward the buzzing sound of a city, maybe that was where he was from, but how did get up there? Spongebob shrugged as he stood up and began to make his way towards the city.

The sign at the entrance of the city read, New Kelp City, the most beautiful place in the sea, Beautiful? Sure, the faded billboard was, but beyond that, were just a bunch of five story low income apartments made of brick or cheap concrete.

The sidewalks were worn and cracked, dead weeds sprouted form them, there were tin barrels, trash, and graffiti everywhere. Spongebob whistled, one of these places could be his place, and he wouldn't even know, not that he wanted to know, “Whoo, I live in a dump” he spoke to himself as he walked through the streets until he felt his stomach growl, “I am starving, there's got to be some place I can eat.” he said as he walked around until he came upon this decent looking place.

Spongebob sat down at one of the tables, aweing at the delicious food that’d been served to him, he rubbed his hands together before he began to eat. 

Thirty Minutes later, Spongebob looked down at the check, it was a pretty good meal for ten dollars. Spongebob hummed as he felt his pockets, soon, panic filled his face as he realized his wallet was no longer in his pocket, that was strange, he just had it, where could it have gone?

“Hey, watch where you’re stepping!” shouted a green fish who’d ran into the sponge, Spongebob gasped, talk about irony, that man reached into his pocket and stole his wallet. Spongebob looked up at the waitress, “Y, You are not going to believe what just happened-” he made a nervous chuckle.  
Spongebob stood in front of the dish pit, looking at the chef who’d thrown him an apron, he was going to have to work those ten dollars off. Which, may have seemed boring, and not fair for the sponge, but think, he was now in a kitchen.

The sponge might not have remembered anything about the Krusty Krab, and his love for Krabby Patties but, there was one thing he couldn't forget, and that was his love for the kitchen, and so, when the boy had the chance, he showed the chef his skills, the chef who’d once, hated him, for not being able to pay for his meal, hired him, and he became the head chef, the place had actually grown in popularity, becoming one of the best places to eat in the ocean.

The sponge became the manager in no time, but the restaurant wasn't big enough, and so, with the money he’d earned, he was able to open up a few of those restaurants all over the ocean floor.

Seven years later, the sponge was named owner of the chain, once the old chef had retired. Spongebob was very successful, instead of living in a Pineapple, he lived in a mansion, with two vacation homes, and no, that wasn't all of it.

Spongebob, was now married, to a beautiful sponge woman named Linda, who was also pregnant with his child, who was due in a few more months, the gender was unknown, but the man hoped that it was a girl, and that she had her mother’s looks, but any gender would be fine, as long as it was happy, and healthy.

Spongebob hadn't lost completely all of his memory, he still remembered his family, who had tried several times to tell him about his old life in Bikini Bottom, but, what life he he possibly have in Bikini Bottom anyways? Was it even a place? and if he remembered, would he even want to go back? Leave New kelp, and his wife?

After finding Linda, his family had agreed that, maybe it was better this way, which it really was, if you think about it. Nothing could be better, nothing could ruin his wonderful new life, nothing except when his memory would eventually return, which it will in this story.

Things were quite, and peaceful, life was good. Spongebob and his wife Linda were alone, in their room, sleeping, or at least, Linda was, while Spongebob was busy tossing, and turning, for some reason, he couldn't fall asleep, for the third time this week, there was something eating the back of his mind, but he didn't know what, maybe firing that kid was getting to him, but the kid was caught stealing, and it needed to be done, no, that wasn't it, he fired many people before, so what was it?

He turned to his side, pulling his cover over his shoulder as he looked over his sleeping wife, looking at the lump in the sheets, maybe he was nervous about becoming a father, he didn't know how, his father didn't really give any good advice, what if it grew up to hate him? No, he would be a great father, he just knew he would, that kid would live a great life, they’d be best friends, so, that wasn't it, than what was it?

Spongebob sighed as he sat up, rubbing his tired eyes before he stood up, maybe if he watched some tv, it would take his mind off whatever was on his mind, and maybe he could get some sleep, hopefully before either him or his wife had to get up.

Spongebob chuckled to himself as he sat out in the living room, laughing at some guy who got hit in the head with a coconut, sighing as he lifted the remote to turn the channel, until he put the remote down beside him, rubbing the side of his face before he something caught his eye.

“What is that?” he asked himself as he seen something standing at a podium, “Looks like some kind of, talking rat.” he said as he looked closer, turning the volume up, “Hello, my name's Sandy, i'm here at tha Bikini Bottom annual memorial, taday marks tha seventh year that a good friend of ours vanished.”

“Sandy?” he questioned, why did that name sound so familiar, he’d seen her from somewhere, but, where? Maybe it was in his head, maybe.

“Spongebob was our friend, my best friend, and, we drove him away, he felt as if he wasn't wanted and, he left, and, it's our fault, if we had only thought of him, he wouldn't have left.” she said, looking away from the camera.

“We have searched, and searched, everywhere, looking for him, but, we all failed, it was assumed that, our poor sponge, maybe have passed, people kept sayin that it was no use searchin for em, that he was gone, and even if he was alive, he wouldn't have wanted to be found, and, if that's true, Spongebob, if you’re out there, and you’re watchin this, I just want ta say that, I'm sorry, we’re all sorry, and we would give anythin, ta have ya back.” she said with tears in her eyes, he stayed silent, as if she was staring at him.

“We’re sorry for what we did, for the way we treated ya, yer not an idiot boy, we’re sorry, just please, come home.” she said before she let out a sigh, “Th, that's all i have ta say about that.” she said before she left the stage.

Spongebob just blinked, sighing as he lifted the remote and turned the tv off, tossing the remote on the couch as he left for his room, he’d been away from his wife for too long.


	2. Chapter 2

CH.2  
Spongebob groaned as his alarm clock pierced his ears, he threw his pillow over his face to block out the sound, before he smashed the clock. Linda, his pregnant wife, yawned as she began to wake up, stretching, she turned to her husband who had already blacked out again, she sighed, reaching over, she began to shake him.

“Hmm?” he sounded from under the pillow, “wake up, Spongebob, you have to go to work.” she said as she continued to shake him, but he just groaned and turned his back on her, she sighed, shaking him even more, “Come on, Spongebob, you have to get up, you’ll be late for your meeting.” she said, Spongebob groaned again, “but, I'm tired-”

“Well, that's your own fault, Squarepants, I told you to go to bed last night, but you stayed up, probably watching tv, so, of course you’re gonna be tired, now, come on, get up.” she ordered, Spongebob sighed as she picked up the pillow, he turned to face her, he smiled, “Morning beautiful.” he said as he leaned up and kissed her, he looked down at her extended belly, “and good morning, daddy's little angel.” he said as he pet her bump.

Spongebob let out a light chuckle, his eyes lit up, “She kicked me.” he smiled, Linda laughed, rolling her eyes, “She, huh?” she questioned, Spongebob laughed, looking at her, “You know it's a she, and she's gonna be just as beautiful as her mom.” he smiled as he leaned up to kiss her but she leaned away, “Awe.” he pouted.

“Go get ready for work, I'll have breakfast ready downstairs.” she said as she poked his nose before she slid out of the bed, he sighed as he watched her leave.

Breakfast was very light, and simple, since he didn't have much time, he sighed as he wiped his mouth, she looked up at him, sensing that he had something on his mind, other then landing that deal for another restaurant on another part of the ocean, what can he say? He was a businessman, of some sort. 

“So, I was thinking, this week, how about we go on a trip?” he asked, “A trip? Like a vacation? where?” she asked, Spongebob smiled, “Bikini Bottom? I heard that's where I was from, I think it’d be a great idea to see where I lived before I came here, I heard that it's really fun too, we can go, just you and me, I’m already going into today to schedule the week off, it would be a shame if I went alone.” he said, Linda sighed.

“What about the doctors appointment?” she asked as she placed her hand on her belly, Spongebob smiled, “We’ll be back just in time, I can't miss the big reveal.” he said as he stood up and walked over to her, he placed his hand on her belly, Linda sighed, placing her hand on top of his, she looked up and smiled at him.

“If it's what you want, I don't see why not.” she said, and he smiled, shaking his head, he laughed as he brought her in for a kiss, their little moment was then interrupted by the annoying sound of his wrist watch, he turned to look at it, hoping that it was a little early, but he sighed, he turned to her and put on a fake smile.

“Thanks for the great breakfast, babe.” he said as he kissed her forehead, “but, it's that time again.” he said as he stood up, Linda sighed, standing up to walk him to the door, Spongebob looked down at the bump on her belly and smiled, leaning down, “You be a good little girl for mama, daddy will be home later.” he said before he kissed it and stood up, kissing her, “I love you, Linda, I’ll be home in time to cook dinner, unless you would rather go out tonight.”

Linda smiled, that was the good thing about marrying Spongebob, was that she didn't really have to worry about cooking, not when your husband was the owner of a fancy food chain, “I'll let you think on that.” he said as he placed another soft kiss on her forehead before he walked out the door and was greeted by his butler, who stood outside of his car, waiting for him.

Spongebob smiled and greeted the man, wrapping him in a hug, Tom, was his name, he was a young man, Tom had also happened to be one of his closest friends, it wasn't hard, when Spongebob moved into town, that he could make friends with just about anyone, except for a few that came and went.

“Morning, Mr. Squarepants, you look well rested, how's the misses, and the child?” he asked, Spongebob chuckled, “You’re too kind, and, Linda is just fine, and, we’re gonna find out if it's a girl or a boy in about two weeks, it's a girl, she doesn't think so, but I know so.” he said, he sighed, “But, it really doesn't matter what it is, I'm fine with a boy too, as long as the baby is happy, and healthy, right?” he smiled, Tom nodded.

“Don't be scared, sir, I remember when my girlfriend was pregnant with our first kid, I was scared, just like you, I wasn't ready when she went into labor, but when she had him, my whole world stopped, and, he was all I could think about, even now, thanks to you, I was able to give him a good life, and, now, my wife and I, we just had another baby.”

Spongebob smiled, “So I’ve heard, hey, why haven't you brought them to see me? I would love to meet your new little girl.” he smiled, Tom laughed, “I don't know, I just didn't think you’d be interested-”

“Are you kidding, Tom? I love kids.” he said, “I'm actually, great with kids, sorta.” he shrugged, and Tom laughed as he opened the car door for him, “and hey, I almost forgot, me and Linda are going away for the week, I'm finally going to Bikini Bottom-”

“So, you’re finally deciding to visit your old home? I never thought I’d see the day.” he shook his head, Spongebob smiled, “Well, I mean, if it's true, then, I’d like to see why I had left, what it was like, it's been seven years, and I still don't remember anything, except for when that program came on last night, there was this girl, I think, and she was some sort of, memorial thing.. For me.” he said shaking his head, “It was as if i had died, or something, and I just want to know.” he said as he looked back up at him.

Tom just looked at him, “Well, I’ve been there before, Bikini bottom was, actually a great place, sure a lot of things happened there, but it was nice, people were nice, there was this one place, the Krusty Krab, that was, just the best place to go to, but, that was, ten years ago, I heard it had lost business, and the city had changed when, a certain sponge, disappeared.” he said, Spongebob looked up at him.

“I don't know what you mean.” he said, he sighed, “but, it's time that I do, and so, I'm giving you the week off, you could use a break, while me and the wife, head to this strange place.” he said, Tom smiled, “Hope everything goes great.” he said, Spongebob smiled as he rolled down his window, “Thanks, Tom, I’ll see you when I get home.” he said before he drove off, and yes, he can drive.

Spongebob walked into a building, where he was brought to a room, he met up with two of his workers, who would be the new managers of a new restaurant he was looking to open, if, he could land the deal, he just needed the ok from the bank, and see about the budget, maybe he could get them in on a more, reasonable price, as well with signing the other papers if the buy was successful, and, he was, a very successful man.

“Hello, Mr. Squarepants.” an older man from the bank greeted as the sponge walked in the room, he smiled, walking over to the man and gave him a firm shake and hug, “Good to see ya again, Phil.” Spongebob smiled, “It's good to see you too, sir, how's things on your side?” Phil asked, and Spongebob laughed, “Great, my wife and I are expecting a little one soon, and, a trip to Bikini Bottom, I also heard that the establishment we are looking to acquire, is located somewhere in that area, is that correct?” Spongebob asked.

Phil nodded, taking out a file, “Yes, sir, it's a little run down, and what not, but, with its location, the right makeover, and the right management, you will become even wealthier.” he informed, and Spongebob sighed, “I'm not in it for the money, sir, I'm in it to make people's lives a little better, it’ll open up new jobs, careers, I want people in that city, to be able to, Taste our food.” he smiled, and Phil sighed.

“You have always been a kind lad, and that's why we all respect you, and now, there's the matter of Business, Mr. Squarepants.” he said, and Spongebob nodded, “Ok, let's get on with it then, shall we?” he smiled, and Phil nodded, before he slid a piece of paper over to him.

The meeting wasn't very long, some prices were thrown, until they finally settled on one they could all agree on, and it was, as said, a success. “That was a spectacular thing you did in there, sir, we promise you, we won't let you down, in just a few short months of remodeling, you will start receiving checks through your mail.” one of the new managers said, and Spongebob smiled.

“Glad to do business with you, Tucker, I know you and John will do great, running the place.” he smiled as he shook his hand, Tucker was just a few years younger then he was, and he was already making his way, just like him, “Soon enough Tuck, you will be the one helping make these kinds of decisions, if you continue to follow down the right path.” he nodded, “Wow, really? Ya think so, sir?”

Spongebob smiled, “Please, my friends call me Spongebob.” he said as he shook his hand again, “and, I’d love to chat, Tuck, but, I’ve gotta get home to my wife.” he waved as he left.

The week had gone by fast, and now, the two married couple were in their boat, Spongebob had just put the last bag in the back, he looked at Linda and smiled, “Are you ready?” he asked, Linda smiled, tugging at her seat belt, “It's gonna take about two hours to get to Bikini Bottom, longer if we get lost, but, it's a great thing I bought this Gps ahead of time.” he said as he turned it on.

Spongebob sighed as he held onto the steering wheel, he was nervous, hoping that he really didn't know anyone in this, ‘Bikini Bottom’, but part of him felt like he would, and not just because he was a billionaire who owned one of the oceans most popular chain of restaurants.

Was he really from there? or was there another Spongebob Squarepants? Not likely. 

They had arrived in Bikini Bottom with in those two hours, and they had also found a nice, warm hotel to stay in for the week of their visit, they’d checked in and unpacked their things.

Spongebob had a few papers to fill out for the construction plans, and forms he needed to fill out for that new spot on the map, he needed everything to be perfect for when it came time to build it up, there were other types of papers too that he hoped he could finish on his free time, hmm, maybe even thinking about finding another spot to open another, think there would ever be enough?

The sponge was always working, even on their vacation, and it irritated his wife, Linda walked over to the table where her husband was sitting, writing, and stamping things on a few papers before she wrapped her arms around his chest, and kissed the side of his face.

“I thought we were supposed to be on vacation.” she said, Spongebob placed his hands on hers and looked up at her, “We are.” he said with a smiled, “Really? Looks like you’re working to me.” she placed her hands on her hips, “Oh, that, well.” he stopped himself and put the pen down, he then stood and faced her.

“what do you want to do?” he asked her, she smiled, “I dunno.” she said, Spongebob chuckled, “I have an idea.” he said before he quickly picked her up and carried her to the bed. Linda laughed as he pinned her down beneath him, he stood up and slid his shirt off, but stopped her when she was about to take off hers.

“No, let's just lay here.” he said as he pulled her shirt down, she looked up at him before he laid down on her, his head on her belly as he hugged and kissed her, listening for the little heart beat of their child.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I was wanting to make this just, one long story, but what's the point, a few chapters won't hurt, will it?
> 
> To be Continued.


End file.
